[sarah]

My parents used to use a cleaner because Dad has a long commute and Mum had some health issues. The costs above sound about on a par with what they were paying. They thought it was well worth it but they did describe a couple of quirks about it.

One cleaner they had was very short. She worked under some kind of outfit and her contract didn’t allow her to climb on things, so after a couple of months it was noticeable with the kitchen cupboards particularly that they were clean from where she could reach down but that grease was building up above that.

Another cleaner they had was really thorough about dusting all their art work, but always left all of it slightly squint.

They also commented that every cleaner they used had one blind spot – but at least that means you only have to clean that one thing yourself!

In the end, their cleaner moved back to S Africa at about the same time as Mum retired so they didn’t hire another one, but they seemed happy if slightly amused with the experience.

[sarah]

My advice would be to just go on there and have a laugh! I had one really great relationship with someone I met on POF and we are still friends now. I wouldn’t treat it like somewhere you are going to meet your life long partner, but you never know; I think it opens up some doors that wouldn’t have been otherwise.

Keep us updated

[sarah]

If child lives primary with the parent who wants to take them on holiday then they should ask there solicitor to write to the other parent outlining the intention to take them on holiday and the dates. Let the other parent then do the chasing to stop it – it wouldn’t stand up in court! It was more complicated for us as my son was traveling to the states and with my mum so we needed a letter of consent from both parents which is where my ex started being an arse!

[sarah]

That almost sometimes feels worse than the situation itself, the fact you are receptive to any suggestions and would try anything and happy to put the work in but the cupboard then seems bare. However much you want to sort it out yourself I am not sure you usually can, I have spent many an hour berating myself for just not trying hard enough when things went a bit tits up but realistically I didn’t have anything concrete I was trying at does that make sense?

I do wonder if it might be better if everyone dealing with the system was provided with an advocate who knew how it worked but wasn’t part of the system.

[sarah]

Mostly fairly dire.
I was very lucky that after things went over the point of critical made worse by CMHT I had a good contact who happened to be on duty at that point and who got me through the next few months, but that was down to him not the system he worked in.
Unfortunately on having to move the whole palaver started again, all previous diagnoses and help given was completely disregarded and I was told so, even though I had only recently been discharged from CMHT.
The whole thing is just so disjointed because CMHT are separate from primary care providers who actually can/do provide therapies to what they would call quite a ‘high level’ so that from CMHT you can be sort of referred back to those providers for therapy rather than it being done in house so to speak. Getting to work out how they system is supposed to work is nigh on impossible and even if you manage that you have to have enough energy to do something about it, which when you are struggling is unlikely.
Case in point for the disjointedness is Psychiatrist ‘I know what I want you to do but from my informed position I cannot actually refer you to do it you have to go through this other system and get them to agree but I will write a letter that hopefully makes it clear.’
Apparently it didn’t make it clear and it was a huge fight, which culminated in the lovely pysch actually taking a call from me mid meltdown (only expected his secretary!) because I didn’t know what to do and him saying he would walk down the stairs to the other department and sort it. He did and not surprisingly he was right, I went from suicidal to pretty much ok for 18 months following that therapy and had no more contact with them or use any resources in that time.

Mostly in all my contacts with them I have decided they would rather I top myself than help me because at least then I wouldn’t be there as a problem anymore. Deciding to go back to them is a huge decision, because even if you know something is up and you are trying to nip it in the bud you know that to a certain extent your contact with them will make you worse not better.

After my most recent diagnosis which was triggered by yet another mental health assessment (asperger’s) there is no help at all post diagnosis. You are just sent on your way and told mental health services are not set up to help people with autism. As such there seem to be quite a lot of people with a late autism diagnosis, who have got to that on the basis of their mental health problems (anxiety, depression, self harm, PTSD all seem relatively common) who aren’t able to access anything that will help them therapy wise and will often not get much/any benefit from the commonly prescribed medications which seems fairly ridiculous.
Other than the 6 counselling/CBT sessions available from IAPT, which if you tick the boxes you can refer back to many times but I was told I would need to find out about autism myself first so I could guide the therapy… erm.

I do think it is really great for some people that you can in many areas self refer for these 6 sessions and there are many short group CBT courses that occur in the evenings (although they are apparently going away from that and been told to concentrate on one to ones, no idea why as they reach a lot of people that way!) but I think and others I have spoken to would agree that if your issues slip between what IAPT can provide help for, and not being enough for CMHT to want to bother with/take seriously that middle bit is sparse.

I am very grateful to the good CPN and that psychiatrist but that was because they were just inherently good people going beyond what they should have done not because of the system.

If anyone asks me now I suggest if they can get any care outside of the NHS from voluntary organisations or privately then do it. The only problem with that being that if you are not able to do that in the future the fact that you have had previous issues might not be down on your record right, but then given that my record from somerset was apparently irrelevant in wiltshire it probably doesn’t matter!

[sarah]

Second all the above ideas I do like Deeside and the Lochnagar estate, I have stayed out at Loch Awe some of the cabins are now privately owned and on airbnb and others are a small holiday letting company, which is lovely and you can go out to Oban and try the seafood which is excellent. If you want to go out into the wilds I love Inverie on the Knoydart peninsula and Torridon all have excellent dog walking and pubs and ancient scots pine forests.

[sarah]

Yes: the media server identifies that the renderer cannot handle the original format, and converts (transcodes) it into a format the renderer has declared it can handle.

I’ve checked again and confirmed that my settings were correct with my NAS media server. Or, I think the settings are correct. However I still can not get certain media formats to play on the TV. Namely mkv files.

Maybe I haven’t quite worked out how to get the NAS box to convert/transcode the files and I only have it set up so that the TV can access the NAS box but has to do all the work itself.

One little task at a time.

[sarah]

@don Replace butter with coconut oil and cream with thick cashew milk or coconut cream. Use dark rum as the booze. Add some minced or finely-chopped crystalised ginger, or just add a bit of both fresh finely-grated ginger and dried ginger powder.

If someone presented me with a softened date under the promise of a truffle, I’d be crestfallen.

[sarah]

Allegedly my NAS box is supposed to be capable. I just have not been able to work it out.

[sarah]

I don’t fully understand transcoding and the other terminologies.

Does the device that holds the media/video do the magic and then stream to the TV?

Or does the TV do the converting/transcoding, or can it be a mix of both?

[sarah]

@nomad I am not yet sure if there is any particular manner where there is a direct link, in nature, between sub-atomic behaviour, based on quantum theory, and the macroscopic world. However, I do know that man can create switches based on that sub-atomic behaviour and which then has, of course, macroscopic consequences. In that case, would you consider this to possibly be an exception to the Mechanistic philosophy? Also, one other thing that seems to part of the Mechanism viewpoint is that everything is predetermined and, thus, it seems that free will does not exist, at least not in the form that most people consider it to exist.

[sarah]

Mechanism (Philosophy):
a. the view that all natural processes are explicable in terms of Newtonian mechanics.
b. the view that all biological processes may be described in physicochemical terms

I am not trying in any way to argue about Mechanism because I respect everybody’s beliefs, but I am curious about one thing. Many experiments have shown that quantum theory, including its various predictions, control the way that the sub-atomic world works. For example, certain aspects of computers (e.g., the transistors) were developed based on quantum theory and act in the way that this theory says that they should. However, quantum theory seems to go against the Mechanistic philosophy as some key elements of quantum theory are the random acts of the sub-atomic particles, the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, etc. As such, there are at least 3 ways that the Mechanistic philosophy can reconcile itself with quantum theory that I can see: (a) it says that quantum theory is incorrect; (b) we are not interpreting quatum theory correctly; (c) the effects of quantum theory do not affect the macroscopic world in any significant way.A Have you thought about that and, if so, how do you reconcile it with your belief?

I want to ask if anyone else out there has found a philosophy (more so than a religion) which has greatly improved their quality of life. I’d be interested in hearing about it.

Also, as for Mechanism being just a philosophy as opposed to a type of religion, that depends on the definition that you use. It is not that simple to come up with a definition that encompasses all those things that we consider to normally be a religion (e.g., Buddhism that does not involve any supernatural gods as many definitions of religion state) without becoming too encompassing to include things that we normally would not include as being a religion. One good link to read more about this is at http://www.religioustolerance.org/rel_defn.htm. As for any “philosophy” that has improved my quality of life, I would say that my belief that there is some type of organized, universal “energy” or presence has given me occasional comfort and, I believe, has improved my quality of life. You may define my belief as a type of religion, but that does not change its effect on me. I assume that many people who believe in what most people consider to be religions would feel that their quality of life has improved because of that. I think that most people who believe in something that explains why bad things happen, encourages people to be understanding and loving to each other, etc., will help to improve their lives. That applies to most religions, as long as people don’t become overly fanatical and only pay attention to part of what their religions say (e.g., it does not include Christian, Muslim, etc., extremists). For you, it is your belief in Mechanism that is helping you. I am glad that you found something that works so well for you.