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    • #363
      karen
      18 Posts

      I know of one family with 5 siblings (2 fathers), four are boys and all have learning difficulties and are on the autistic spectrum, the one girl has no problems. Given that there are two fathers it would appear that there is a genetic link on the mother’s side.

    • #349
      karen
      18 Posts

      No. Right to buy is fine in principle. People who have paid rent for a long time getting the ability to buy the house. It’s more like a state supported long term mortgage.

      What is wrong is councils not maintaining a stock of social housing and not keeping the house prices low.

      Think about how land becomes houses. It starts as land. It has little value, a field, maybe too small to farm. Or spare fallow ground at the edge of a previously developed area (old industrial site, old train line). The council grant planning permission. The value increases. The developers buy it and build houses. They need to make a profit and they need to generate revenues that support purchase of this expensive commodity. So land worth a few thousand, becomes worth £100k. The bricks and fixtures add £50k and the house sells for £200k.

      If the council purchased the land at land rates, using revenue from previous sales. Granted permission to build and leased the land to the builder to build houses. The capital outlay to build the houses is lower, so small firms could get involved to build a dozen houses rather than the big housing companies. They would build the house and sell at a profit along with the individual plot of land that would be sold from the council.

      The council could make a small mark-up, the builder would make a profit, and the whole house would be for sale for maybe half what the big boys sell them for. The council can have tendered the right to build the houses based on a unit price for the final sell so they could limit the price.

      This would feed new houses in at an affordable rate. It would force down the rental prices, and reduce the viability of buy-to-let. Leaving more of the large housing stock at affordable prices. The whole housing market would reduce in cost per size, the losers would be investors in property – who due to the timescale of this taking effect would not so much lose money but exit with little further gains. With rent / mortgage lowered there would be more cash back in the economy, lower paid jobs would be less tight and fewer people would be on the breadline.

    • #335
      karen
      18 Posts

      You don’t sound self entitled, it sounds like your dad is putting you in an awkward position. You can’t accept the gift and adhere to his stipulations. If you accept and make it pay for itself it will cause ill feeling. Is your dad of sound mind (not meant to sound rude) – it’s just odd that he can’t understand your reasons.
      If you take your brothers advice then you have an asset which could benefit your children in the future.
      Could you write to him stating that if he was to give you the property you would only be able to accept on the understanding that you would be obliged to rent it out to make it pay for itself? Then if he still offers it to you he can’t say you were dishonest. It sound like whatever you do there will be ructions – he has made that inevitable.
      Ps I don’t know if there would be a way to rent it out for say 2/3 of the year as a holiday home and leave it available for friends/family for 1/3 (or however long) – probably a hassle

    • #301
      karen
      18 Posts

      @notherngal I really don’t think that people were healthier before the NHS, which would be the logical conclusion from what has just been said. There have been massive improvements in treatments, over the last 70 yrs, with drugs that no-one had even dreamed of before WWII. And, of course, improved access to whatever treatments are available. Lifespans have increased because preventative medicine has developed alongside treatments and screening programs for early detection of major illnesses. Just think of the improved survival rates for cancer patients, premature babies, diabetes patients etc, etc. and the diseases that have been eradicated, such as diphitheria

      I agree with the consultant cited in OP, the NHS is being set up to fail and various News organizations are either a) accidentally playing into the Gvt’s hands by highlighting the problems without really explaining why they are happening or b) deliberately supporting the campaign to talk the NHS into oblivion.

      There may be more people than usual with flu this year, as the vaccine didn’t target the correct strain (why not? – the children’s version did) but the main reason for the shortage of beds, isn’t unprecedented demand, or ‘bed-blocking’ (horrible term), it is closure of beds/wards/hospitals in the name of ‘efficiency’. It isn’t efficient it simply saves money which is disgraceful, when UK spending on healthcare is the lowest percentage of GDP than any other European country.

      There are any number of ways to find the money that could be spent on the NHS if it wasn’t wasted on ridiculous vanity projects. I could save a fortune out of the education budget, simply by stopping the program of Academisation, never mind some of the other nonsense that wastes the education budget, such as national phonics testing for 6 yr olds, piloting of ‘baseline’ tests by 3 different private organizations, in thousands of schools, which was then abandoned. I am sure that those who know than I do about other gvt departments could also find easy ways to make savings.

    • #294
      karen
      18 Posts

      I will go and look on moneysaving – thank you for that. Do you need a specific reason for each policy as to why it was missold? Was it ever actually NOT missold?

      Another question – and I am sorry for being so dim, I cannot remember who my mortgage was with, but think it was Abbey National. Is that now Santander’s probelm, or is it just bad luck me?

    • #275
      karen
      18 Posts

      As @Melissa says, The Ordinary (part of Deciem) is a fantastic brand, and is cruelty free.

      I’ve always had quite horrendous acne, and my skin is also very oily. I’ve completely swapped to The Ordinary (various products, but Niacinamide might interest you as it reduces sebum) and have noticed a HUGE change in my skin.

    • #258
      karen
      18 Posts

      I have a cleaner and it’s a massive expense.
      Cost me an engagement and wedding ring, food, holidays, clothes, presents, more shoes than one person can wear in a lifetime, jewelry.

      A couple of friends of mine had a cleaner but they were that scruffy they actually cleaned up before the cleaner came round because they didn’t want anyone thinking they lived that slovenly.

    • #247
      karen
      18 Posts

      @janey Sure, sometimes Amazon is the best or even the only option to buy from.

      The Dead Kennedys had it right many years ago: Give Us Convenience or Give Us Death.

      We as customers put up with sacrificing our privacy, depriving ourselves of a selection of vendors, thereby shifting the economic balance of power to the remaining vendors, all in the name of convenience. Talk about shooting ourselves in the foot!

      Amazon recently started a foray into the off-line, organic food business. A perversion on par with the Glencore/DRC story.

    • #244
      karen
      18 Posts

      Amazon are generally shit, whether you look at it from a taxpaying citizens POV, an employees POV, or from their treatment of customers.

      I therefore largely use their website as a search engine to see what is out there, and will then try to source books or other new items from a local store (with the one exception of used music CDs, where unfortunately there is no realistic alternative).

    • #234
      karen
      18 Posts

      OK – I’m a lifelong asthmatic and it’s not quite the same as COPD but it is very similar

      My father has COPD – he smoked for 40 years and gave up, but by then the damage had been done, to both of us I guess, him active, me passive as a child.

      My advice is

      Eat lightly but eat well
      Keep active
      Use the blue Ventolin of you need to, if it’s the generic inhaler instead of Ventolin kick up a fuss and get Ventolin – it works better
      Be consistent with your Incruse – consistency with these inhalers is really important
      Sleep in a cool room

      Herbally – Schizandra Chinesis is your friend. It does help. I take it every day, my asthma symptoms are worse without it

    • #212
      karen
      18 Posts

      One that hasn’t been mentioned here is Muddy Matches… Free to sign up, or was a few years ago. Had been on several such sites over a period of time and let me say from a male perspective, some of the FEMALE members of some sites send some very very very odd messages indeed. Met someone very special to me through Muddy Matches two years ago now, we would never have crossed paths ordinarily due to being in different counties.

      To the OP I would say try a few sites, have fun, be careful and see if you connect with anyone. Good luck!

      That’s what my OH said (about the weird females frequenting the sites)!

      We met through Match, on the very day that both of us had decided we had had enough of the nutters and went online to deactivate our accounts. He sent me a message (one last gasp) and we’ve been together three years now.

      I certainly didn’t do online dating with the aim of meeting the future Mr right – I did it as a boredom buster for the long boring winter evenings. It was a bit of an eye opener really, there are a lot of players on there, but clearly some good ones too.

      Honestly OP, it’s worth a go just for the fun of it, you never know what might happen. I’d not worry about those people who say they don’t advise it because they are happier single

    • #130
      karen
      18 Posts

      I’m a nurse in the nhs and pay around £20 a month to park. We give our patient’s relatives a parking permit so it costs £7 a week/£1 per day (whichever works out cheaper for them) otherwise it is ridiculously expensive. I work in intensive care so I’m not sure if this is something we do because the patients are so sick and are more likely to be in hospital for a prolonged stay or if it is hospital wide. Patient’s relatives are normally very grateful though and it at least takes that financial worry away at a very stressful time.

    • #66
      karen
      18 Posts

      I have a small voice, too. It is very quiet, and doesn’t even speak in words. More feelings, or an overall sense of things. Sometimes I ignore it. I am always sorry. And when I heed it, I am always glad. I wish my drunken monkey voice would be quiet more often so that I could hear the quiet one better.

      @ritchy Mine speaks in words. Very specific words, very specific intonations. And sometimes it says the most surprising things. I don’t even understand where they come from. Is that what people mean when they say they hear voices?.. And like you, I don’t always heed it. But it reminds me that I have a choice.

    • #63
      karen
      18 Posts

      What a wonderful thread. I benefit from your wisdom, and it helps to get a reminder that I am not alone.

      I do have this other voice in my head, which sometimes — but only sometimes — is able to help me when I start going crazy. I do not perceive it as being my own. Rather, it’s a composite of two people I interacted with last year who had an impact on me. It’s very friendly, supportive, and nonjudgmental, yet at the same time coolly rational, detached and with an ironic sense of humor. It asks questions rather than tells me what to do. Sometimes this works: it cuts right through the craziness. Sample: yesterday I was in a really bad mood, and when the kids were playing with my husband, I went into my spiral of “I’m a terrible mother, nobody needs me, the kids would be better off without me” — you get the idea. Voice: “So, you want your kids to need you every moment of the day?” Um, no. That would not be a good thing. Voice: “Do you seriously think that your kids’ life would be better if you were to die today? In what way?” Um, no. Not really. End of bullsh**.

      I don’t know why I’m posting this here. It’s probably not useful advice, because I could not have generated this voice by myself. And I can’t call on it consistently (I could for a while, but not anymore).

      Anybody know a therapist like that, perhaps?

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