Not sure where to start, so I’ll just jump right in. I’ve somewhat been wanting to play spades online; however, I’m wondering if I do try will that count as a relaspe?
I have played this game before my recovery but never really for long periods of time. If I do try it and I notice that there will be a problem and stop (before binge playing etc), would that mean I have to start over?
I ask because I can play online chess without a problem. There are only so many games and only so long I can play before I can no longer focus right. Futhermore, I don’t care if I go weeks at a time without playing chess. Spades on the other hand doesn’t really take that much focus, which is why it might be a problem.
This debate has been going on off and on for about a day in my head. Is this a legit thing or do you think my addict brain is trying to trick me just to get a quick fix, even if it winds up only being a few hands? Which bears the above question, would even that “sip” count towards starting over?
Thank you for any opinions.
PS: The games I’m addicted to are major mmorpg and even single player games etc. The games like spades etc is an unknown, but possible threat. That’s why I want to know what counts as a relplase, just 1 second or hours or days at a time. For me I know even just 1 second playing the major games would be too much for me and 100% be a relapse, but I have no idea for something like this unknown.
Your experience sounds a lot like mine. I had games where I could play a few rounds and stop easily and games where I wanted to stop after two hours and didn’t stop until six hours later.
So of course I have tried sticking to the simple solitaire games since they seemed so harmless. It worked fine for a while, then I was playing them more and more, then I was compelled to branch out into other seemingly harmless games to combat boredom, and when an urge hit to play something compelling that would really scratch my itch I was powerless to stop myself from getting back into the old games that had wrecked my life in the first place.
Your experience may turn out like mine or maybe not. If you have the same obsessive compulsive mental condition that I do (i.e. addiction) then it’s almost certain your experience will be like mine. It would be a good question for a meeting. I might bring it up next time I’m at one.
Addiction is very powerful, regardless of its focus on games, gambling, alcohol, or drugs, and recovery from it requires the same path of abstinence and mutual support, regardless of its focus. If you don’t mind, I want to translate your P.S. into the language of another flavor of addiction:
PS: The booze I’m addicted to are hard liquors and even wines etc. The drinks like beer etc is an unknown, but possible threat. That’s why I want to know what counts as a relapse, just 1 sip or drinks or cases at a time. For me I know even just 1 sip drinking the hard liquors would be too much for me and 100% be a relapse, but I have no idea for something like this unknown.